Keep Your Heels High and Your Estrogen Levels Higher
For months I have been digging into topics that discuss femininity and masculinity, wandering between politically incorrect books and quite popular YouTube videos that last for hours. Most of these I could not imagine a modern woman ever deliberately explore. It would be like putting a religious man together with an atheist scientist and telling them to collectively agree on the existence of God. Somehow the topic of femininity and masculinity, and there being differences between both genders is highly disregarded when it comes to dinner-table topics. If you are even slightly curious about this subject then there is somebody I would like to recommend to you though. His name is Dr. John Gray and there is a lot of content out there in form of books and videos that might get you started on the topic.
Although Dr. John Gray always emphasizes that his analyses are not to be taken as medical advice, most of the topics he discusses are based on actual studies and research, which can be nice to rely on if you are new to this world of yin and yang. The most crucial thing to take from all of the information that he provides is that we are hormone-driven beings and what makes us feel good is anything that stimulates the production of the right hormones within us. Men feel happy when their testosterone levels are high and women feel happy when their estrogen is high. We all have both inside us and we all are capable of producing both, but that does not mean that it will makes us feel good if we do.
Having this piece of knowledge in the back of your head everything else in the world becomes much clearer. To me it has always been quite obvious that a lot of current unhappiness amongst women comes from the fact that they are unable to truly connect to the things that produce estrogen within them. Estrogen naturally calms a woman down. If you only focus on the things you have to get done you are programming your body to produce testosterone to keep up with your partner or co-workers. This can lead to higher anxiety and overall unfulfillment. What is even more problematic is the fact that testosterone has such momentum and force that it is hard to put on the brakes once you have jumped on that train. As I said, this is not hard to be aware of, even if you do not analyze it in terms of hormones.
Something that has been a mystery to me though is the tendency for men to pull away and redirect their focus after spending a certain amount of time with a woman. If a woman did this to another woman it would be an instant sign of lost interest or connection, so this is how I have been interpreting this in men’s behavior as well. Turns out this could not be further away from the truth. Being loving and connected with a woman rises a man’s estrogen levels, just like they rise when petting a puppy or playing with babies. When estrogen goes up, testosterone goes down. After a while a man will start to feel he needs a fresh breeze of testosterone to get back to his normal levels and he will pull away to produce just that. By being focused, by achieving, by doing his thing. Then he will be able to feel attracted to his woman again and the entire game will begin all over. It is not lack of love. It is a cycle of love.
I could talk about this topic for hours, but this time I suggest you simply watch one of Dr. John Gray’s videos on YouTube. I will instead share with you a realization that I just stumbled upon, that I believe will guarantee that life will never be the same again for me. Hopefully not for you either.
Women tend to be so self-aware that they end up being good planners. This means if you have the aspiration to grow, you will find a way to adapt your schedule to be as productive as you can be. Now imagine this. You go on a trip with your significant other for every other week and spend the week in between travels by yourself. When will you plan to do the most work and be the most focused on your goals? The weeks when you are on your own, right? Believe me or not, but I think this is the biggest mistake you can commit as a woman. For a man this is a great schedule! He gets to spend time with you and be loving and then go back to working hard and slowly building up his testosterone until the next time he sees you. For a woman this is a disaster. Her leading hormones vary week by week and for her this cycle is not optimal. A woman does not fall in and out of love. A woman is constantly open and loving. Constantly needing estrogen, even if her natural cycle craves it more some days of the month than others.
When you spend valuable time with your significant other, your estrogen levels will be sky-high. This is the only and best time to do hard work that fulfills you. Schedule a few hours a day then, rather than working a full workday when you are alone. Your high estrogen levels will not let testosterone and stress take over, instead you will be able to work through a filter of love and giving. On months, weeks, days, hours when you are on your own give yourself the gift to focus primarily on yourself. Do things that increase your estrogen, make you feel feminine and keep you truly fulfilled. Forget about productivity as you know it. Balance is your path to true growth and happiness.
